Student: "Luke, you gonna adopt some kids?"

Me: "No"

Student: "Well you know you ain't never gonna get a girl so you might as well."

Selected Haiku's...unfortunately many don't have the correct amount of syllables, but whatever:


Lukens jeans are small
He needs to stretch them today
He'll feel much better

Summer light, body night
Deaf smile, smile back Thespis states
Peace smelled but untouched

Running on the block
all night chasing fireflies
Knees scraped and still happy

Sweat drips off my brow
Middle of a summer day
Game over last shot

Foggie dark mourning
Can tell its about to storm
Got to go to school

The cat is talking
The cat is lying to me
How does the cat talk?

On a fall mourning
It was very cold outside
Had to bring the heat

On the black late night
Shots was fired; got on ground
Run home and lock door

She went to the park
The young lady was shot twice
The baby was sleep again

Rainforest of the wind
A body was found last night
The Jungle of Death

Crayons is corney
I used crayola sometimes
Addition is fun

What!?!?!...

In class there was a probability question that started as such: "There were 8 black marbles and 7 white marbles..."

Naturally, one of my notorious students had to interrupt and utter:

"Wait, wait, wait a minute...you're tellin' me that there were more blacks than whites?!?!?! What kind of world are you talkin about?!?!!"

"What color was the highest level reading book? You know, of course it was the was the white book."

When discussing religious affiliation for a college application:

"Well, I really don't know what to put since I really only go to church when I think my girl might be pregnant."